I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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