The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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