You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
