Life is so much better after having sex.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
