You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
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No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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