so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize