what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
