East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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