my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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