Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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