I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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