Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this just has baby written all over it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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