I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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