I just saw a hot homeless man
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
