We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
