keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
