How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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