Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
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Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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