I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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