No stitches, just platelets and will power
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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