Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
