I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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