every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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