just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize