just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
