Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize