At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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