If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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