so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
