Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
