you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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