So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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