Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
