I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
