He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
