hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
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