now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
