No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
