just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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