Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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