the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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