no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize