I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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