I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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