Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He? As in you personified your dick?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
