It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
