Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
