yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
should my penis look like a turkey
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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