Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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