I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
