WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
