New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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