Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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