I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish you could order shots online.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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