What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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