We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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