the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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