oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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