I am in a vortex of obligation.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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