Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
