note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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